He really didn’t like it…

I’m not a huge fan of spanking.  I can say that it’s my least favorite form of correction, however, unlike the politicians/media/schools/CPS/etc., I do think it’s something that should be in the arseonal of discipline.  (Do you see where this is going yet?)

Ethan kicked his brother, because he wouldn’t share.  We talked about it.  He got the idea from a Hello Kitty video that he had seen for the first time.  Bubye, Hello Kitty.  Hello sit in a chair for 10 minutes and listen to mom’s lecture. 

A week later he kicked his brother again, because his brother wasn’t listening.  We talked about this at a greater length and pointed out that he has NEVER been kicked by anyone outside of soccer.  He certainly hasn’t been kicked by any friends or cousins because he didn’t listen or wouldn’t share.  He got a swat on the butt from his mother that day and another “talk” from dad that night.  We escalated things by saying that he would get a spanking from dad if he chose to do it again, mom would call dad at work to let him know.

Another week later, today, I get a phone call saying that Ethan kicked his brother.  Anxiety kills Ethan, which suspense was part of the plan in saying that dad would be the one to spank him – not that I’m going to be tough, but to add anxiety/suspense to the situation, as he’d typically ask to be punished immediately to get it over with.  (i.e., “No videos tomorrow,” results in, “How about I not watch any videos today or tomorrow?” Which is fine with us!)

So I get the call, get home coincidently a half hour later.  I meet up with the fam at soccer practice for a good practice (tonight was passing skills – didn’t go over too well with the 5 year olds).  We get home and within 10 minutes Angie takes Eli for a walk while Ethan and I have “the talk.”  Our talk was actually redundant of the prior talks honing in on the reprocussions of a reoccurance.

I about gave in when he asked if I would just spank him “this hard” as he tapped his forefinger against the back of his hand.  I replied with a firm “No” which was met with a “why not?”  I told him, “that’s not a spanking and I don’t think you’ll remember that kind of punishment.”  At this time grace entered my mind, but I had to remind myself that we operated on that M.O. the first two incidences.  So we proceeded with the spanking. 

I figured one good spank would be enough, but he didn’t wince.  I really didn’t want to hurt him, but I knew it would have to hurt some for him to respect the punishment and avoid it’s threat in the future.  So I gave another spank.  Still nothing.  I gave another…and decided I should be done.

He stood up straight and said with an unwaivering look (which was a blend of scowl and dismay), “One would have been enough dad.”  I thought about giving in.  ”Stay strong,” I told myself.  I told him again what I had said before, that it hurt me to know that someone had kicked my son, and that the person who hurt my son should be punished.  I also upped the anty and said that if he chose to kick Eli again, the punishment would be five spankings, at which his face now changed for the first time with widening eyes.

I opened my arms to him and he came to me.  Ahhh.  Relief.  I was able to endure a spanking.  I may have actually had more anxiety than he did.  I was worried about my reaction if he broke down crying.  What if I spanked him too hard?  What if I didn’t spank him hard enough?  (This as I remembered the time my mom last spanked me because I laughed at her the whole time.)  What if I got misty eyed?  What if he wouldn’t reciprocate a consolation hug?

Ethan gave me a good hug, good enough for just have gotten spanked, and within minutes Angie and Eli were home and Ethan was racing around the house bringing to me things he was proud of.  I’m really glad that’s over and I hope not to receive another phone call.  I didn’t like it either!

~ by rekrapsirhc on August 5, 2008.